What to Do When ADHD Makes You Forget What You Were Doing

ADHD Therapy

Aug 1

If you live with ADHD, you’ve probably experienced that moment: You walk into a room with purpose—only to stand there, completely blank. Or you open your laptop, intending to reply to an email, but somehow find yourself scrolling through headlines twenty minutes later with no memory of what you meant to do.

This frustrating and disorienting experience is incredibly common for those with ADHD. But here’s the good news: You’re not lazy, broken, or incapable. Your brain is simply wired differently. And with the right tools and compassionate ADHD therapy, you can learn to work with your attention, not against it.

In this article, we’ll explore why this happens, and more importantly, practical steps to recover your focus when ADHD derails you.

Understanding the ADHD Attention System

ADHD is not a deficit of attention—it’s a difference in how attention is regulated. The ADHD brain often struggles with working memory, which is like your brain’s sticky note. When it’s unreliable, you’re more likely to lose track of what you were doing, especially when shifting between tasks or environments.

You may also have difficulty with executive functioning, the set of skills that help you prioritize, plan, and follow through. This can make everyday tasks—like cooking dinner or sending a message—feel like complex puzzles.

But once you understand the brain-based reason for your forgetfulness, the shame can start to lift. ADHD therapy often begins here—with understanding and self-compassion.

Why You Forget Mid-Task: Common Triggers

Certain situations make it more likely that you’ll lose your train of thought:

Environmental distractions: Background noise, movement, or visual clutter can hijack your attention quickly.
Task switching: Trying to multitask or pivot between two activities can cause your brain to drop the first one.
Stress or fatigue: When your brain is under pressure or tired, working memory becomes less reliable.
Lack of interest: If the task feels boring or unimportant, your brain may “drop it” without warning.
Emotional overwhelm: Anxiety, guilt, or frustration can make it even harder to remember what you were doing.

Learning to spot these patterns is a key part of effective ADHD therapy.

What to Do in the Moment

So what can you do when it happens? Here are some practical strategies that help real people with ADHD every day:

1. Pause and Breathe

Before rushing into another task, take a deep breath. Sometimes, a few seconds of stillness is enough for your brain to reconnect the dots.

Try asking yourself gently, “Where was I just now?” or “What was the last thing I was doing before this?”

2. Backtrack Physically

Often, retracing your steps or looking at the environment where you were working can trigger your memory. Go back to the last place you were or reopen the tab you closed. Context clues matter.

3. Use a “Parking Lot” List

Keep a notepad, sticky note, or phone app handy to jot down tasks or ideas the moment they come to you. If a distraction pops up, “park” it on the list so you can return to your original task.

This practice, often encouraged in ADHD therapy, can reduce mental clutter and anxiety.

4. Set Up Anchors

Visual or auditory cues can serve as memory anchors. A sticky note on your laptop, a visual timer, or a calendar alert can all help pull your attention back when it wanders.

For example: If you're writing a report, a note that says “Still working on report” next to your computer can nudge you back if you drift.

5. Use the "When in Doubt, Restart" Rule

Sometimes, you simply won’t remember what you were doing. That’s okay.

Rather than spiraling into frustration, choose one small, productive task to reset your momentum—like checking your planner or making a to-do list. Movement often brings clarity.

Long-Term Tools for Staying on Track

When forgetfulness is a regular part of your day, these longer-term supports can make a big difference.

1. Externalize Everything

Don’t rely on your brain to hold information. Use tools like:

Whiteboards
Alarms or timers
Task management apps (like Todoist or Trello)
Visual schedules

Externalizing your thoughts is a core principle in ADHD therapy, and can significantly reduce stress.

2. Create “Start-Up Rituals”

Starting a task is often harder than completing it. Create small, consistent rituals that help signal to your brain, “We’re doing this now.”

Examples:

Lighting a specific candle before sitting down to work
Always starting your morning by opening your calendar
Playing a specific playlist while cleaning

These rituals become cues that ease your brain into focus mode.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Forgetfulness isn’t a moral failing—it’s a brain function challenge.

Instead of beating yourself up, try saying: “My brain dropped that. That’s okay. I’ll try again.”

Shame spirals only make it harder to recover focus. ADHD therapy often includes exercises in self-kindness, because it truly matters.

4. Work with a Therapist Who Gets It

If your forgetfulness is affecting your work, relationships, or mental health, consider working with a therapist who specializes in ADHD therapy. They can help you:

Develop custom strategies that work for your life
Understand and reframe internalized shame
Build structure without crushing your creativity

You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Broken

Losing your train of thought might feel like a daily battle, but it doesn’t have to define you. With the right supports, routines, and mindset, you can create a life that flows with your attention—not constantly fights it.

ADHD therapy is not about fixing you—it’s about understanding your brain, celebrating your strengths, and building systems that support the incredible person you already are.